Experiencing a miscarriage can be devastating. Often times support people are unsure of what to do out of fear of making things “worse” for the parents involved. Read along to learn some helpful tips on ways to support someone experiencing a miscarriage.
1. Periodically check in the first two-four weeks
Often times we do a great job checking in immediately after a person suffers a loss. Typically, the outreach tapers down as time goes on. However, your support is still needed days/weeks after the loss has been experienced! Sending a quick text letting the person know that you are still thinking of them goes a long way (especially after some time has passed)!
2. Be mindful of the language that you are using
Please be mindful of the language that you are using in attempt to comfort the person who has experienced the miscarriage! Phrases such as “at least you were only x weeks along,” or “you can just try again next month” are not helpful. In fact, they can further isolate the people involved. If you can’t relate to the situation, just let them know that you are there and that you love them. You don’t need to come up with the perfect saying or phrase – just letting them know that you are their support system is enough!
3. Share helpful resources
Remind the parents that their experience is valid and offer your help putting them in contact with resources for support such as the March of Dimes or Return to Zero – they both offer many helpful resources and virtual support groups that can be attended! Social media support is also available via Facebook through Pregnancy After Loss support which also offers sub-groups by trimester. Renée wrote a blog post on her personal experience, “Renée’s Miscarriage Story,” that you could share with them to make them feel not as alone.
4. Offer physical support
If the parents have other children, offer to watch them while the mother recovers both mentally and physically from the loss. You can also drop off meals, send e-gift cards for third party food delivery, or offer to pick up a drive-up grocery order for the parents as well.
5. Don’t be afraid to talk about it!
The topic of miscarriage is unfortunately still taboo. Therefore, many people feel uncomfortable talking about miscarriage, despite how common the occurrence is! If you have experienced a loss, ask if you may share your experience. This helps those suffering see that they are not alone and that it is 100% okay to talk about this miscarriage. Remind the mother that the miscarriage is not her fault. As always, be empathetic and remember to do for others what you wish would have been done for you during any time of need.
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