A Letter to My Ro on Your First Birthday
What a YEAR 2020 has been.
You were born *literally* in the knick of time.
Our journey together started off rocky. When I took the pregnancy test that would later be you, I was scared. Unsure. Guilt ridden. You, my little angel, were not part of my plan. But a greater power certainly had a plan for you. I spent our 9 months together planning for your exit – and never in my wildest dreams would a global pandemic and complete isolation be part of this plan.
The lockdown began as we brought you home from the hospital. The entire world stopped – and you, my dear, reminded me that I must keep living. Your sweet disposition helped me push through the unknown of each dark day. And every single day – you woke up with BIG, bright blue eyes (you got those from me 😉) and a calmness came over me. You were all I needed.
You see, I was terrified to have you because I was paralyzed of the thought of the postpartum period. Postpartum Depression told me that I wouldn’t enjoy the time after you were born. Postpartum Depression convinced me that it would be back again to rob me of myself. Postpartum Depression whispered to me that I wasn’t going to be able to take care of myself and consequently, not be able to take care of you.
But Postpartum Depression was wrong. Light always conquers darkness. Each day your light shone a little bit brighter until you were the size of the sun – and your light lit a fire in me. It gave me life, it gave me warmth, it gave me “me”. You gave me “me”.
2020 knew that I needed you. My little Ro, my brightest sun in all the darkest darkness.
I love you, my sweetest baby girl.
All my love,