Many parents have heard about hosting au pairs as a childcare option but feel confused by the process. This post breaks down who au pairs are and how the program works!

What is an au pair?

An au pair is a young person from another country who joins your family to assist with childcare. During their stay, they share their language, holidays, food and customs with the whole family and learn more about American culture.

Au pairs stay with their host families for a minimum of one year, but can choose to stay for another 6, 9 or 12 months (either with the same family or a new family).

While they are in the U.S., au pairs also fulfill a required educational component by taking classes at an accredited institution. Some au pairs opt to take ongoing courses while others select to take a class over a weekend. 

Overview of the au pair process 

I will be the first one to admit that before I joined the au pair program, I assumed the process would be extremely daunting. But I promise you, it isn’t! To legally host an au pair, you need to go through an agency, and they do a lot of the initial legwork for you.

Agency staff will personally interview and screen all candidates, help au pairs secure their visas and prepare them for their time in the U.S. I researched three different agencies and after speaking with other parents and comparing the various applicant pools, I ultimately went with Cultural Care Au Pair. 

After you create a family profile, you can start searching for au pairs who have the experience and personality you’re looking for. If there’s mutual interest, you’ll interview them and ultimately find your “match”.  

All host families pay a fee directly to their agency, and this is clearly outlined from the beginning (you can find Cultural Care’s fees on their website). In addition, families pay a minimum stipend directly to their au pairs each week.

The stipend amount is regulated by the Department of State and currently stands at $195.75 in most states.

After you find your final au pair match, a Local Childcare Consultant (LCC) will interview your family to ensure that you have a dedicated private bedroom for your au pair that is up-to-code. The LCC will also review the rules of the program with and encourage you to ask as many questions as you like.

It’s important to prepare your children for your au pair’s arrival as well! We matched with our au pair seven months in advance, so there was plenty of time to help our little ones get used to the idea of someone new coming to live with us. We FaceTimed periodically, and our children were so excited to help set up her room and put together a sweet “welcome basket” for her. 

I would not say that matching so far in advance is typical or needed—it just happened that way for us. I would recommend starting your search for an au pair at least 10-12 weeks in advance of when you want them to arrive, because each countries visa approval process looks a little bit different.

Okay, so what are the rules when hosting an au pair?

Most of the program rules are pretty straightforward. Au pairs cannot work more than 45 hours a week. They can work up to, but not more than ten hours a day.

Each agency varies a little with weekend requirements, however, and Cultural Care Au Pair requires that au pairs receive one full weekend off per month and 1.5 days consecutive days off per week. You’ll want to give your au pair a schedule in advance so that they know their working hours. 

Your au pair cannot be the sole caregiver for an infant under twelve weeks of age. But this doesn’t mean that they cannot assist with your infant!

Our au pair arrived when my youngest was nine weeks old and she was super helpful. I was able to get so much done with her by my side, serving as an extra set of hands, especially for the “big kids”.

Au pairs are allowed to drive if you are in need of a driver. However, you’ll need to investigate your state’s specific rules to find out whether they need a local driver’s license or if their country has reciprocity with your specific state. 

You may be wondering: what happens if it turns out your au pair is not a good fit for your family? At any point in time the family or the au pair may initiate what is called a “rematch” after a good faith effort is made to mitigate any concerns.

Throughout the rematch process, your LCC and Cultural Care staff will be on hand to make the transition as easy as possible, and to help you find a new au pair. 

Why should I choose an au pair?

An au pair offers a unique childcare experience that is truly unlike anything else when “done right.” By this I mean that you commit to embracing the “spirit of the program” and welcome your au pair into your home as a family member. 

I’m going to be blunt here because that is my style—an au pair is not meant to serve as “cheap childcare”. Of course, there are many cost benefits, especially for families with young children.

But it is essential to remember that this person has left behind everything they know to join your family, so it’s important to invest time into getting to know them and inviting them to be a part of your activities, holidays and traditions. 

Au pairs provide flexibility, dependability, and consistency for our children. Our kids love learning all about Germany and hearing about our au pair’s “home life”. We cannot wait to travel to Germany and visit our au pair once her year is up! 

For us, flexibility was especially key. Our children go to different schools and have different activities, and we don’t have any family close by. Our au pair helps get everyone where they need to be.

Now I’m able to set up my work schedule and also find time to run errands, practice self-care, and schedule date nights and not have to worry! It’s great! In short, our au pair has become a critical part of our parenting team.

A word of advice from a psychotherapist who has gone through the process—consider selecting an au pair who feels like the best personality match for your needs! Of course, childcare experience is important too, but skills can be taught—personality is static.

We chose our au pair because her personality really spoke to me as I watched her profile videos. I could just see how genuine and warm she is and how much she truly loves children. I also paid close attention to what others had to say about her in the references section. 

I love being a “host mom” and I know that you will too! 

You can check out a sweet compilation video of our experience so far here! 

*This is a sponsored post but reflects our true and authentic feelings.